Rudy “I’m Out Of My Fucking Mind But I Just Don’t Know It” Giuliani

January 12, 2008

Rudy Giuliani really chaps my fucking hide. He has since he was a Federal prosecutor in New York City, which was when I began avidly observing his behavior. One of the interesting things about Giuliani is that pretty much all of his seemingly inexplicable bizarre statements and actions can be explained by one single fatal character flaw.

You know how most people have at least some ability to perceive how their statements and actions appear to others? Well, the part of the normal human brain that implements this essential social function is flat-out fucking missing from Giuliani’s brain. It’s just not there.

In its absence, Giuliani’s brain tells him that other people see his statements and actions in exactly the same way he sees them himself. This is a very cool thing. (Well, it is for Rudy. For the rest of us, not so much.) It completely eliminates a huge burden that normal people deal with at least some of the time.

Many of us have had the experience of drinking too much at a party and acting in a way that we think is very witty and entertaining. “Yeah, everyone thinks it’s totally fucking subtly hilarious that I’m taking a piss on the ficus!” Then you wake up the next morning sober thinking, “Oh shit! Did I really piss on Susie’s house plant?”

Problem is, Giuliani never sobers the fuck up. He thinks everything he says and does is totally fucking awesome, and he thinks that everyone else does, too. People who disagree with him are “delusional”, “freaks”, or “mentally disturbed”.

Giuliani took cellphone calls from his wife while he was on stage giving presentations at political fund-raising events. The benighted asshole thought it would “endear” him to his audience, make him look more “human”, and not like the megalomaniacal sick perverted ratfucker that he is. That sure worked out well.

Now, Giuliani’s got the brilliant idea to run on a “multitrillion-dollar tax cut that would lower the corporate tax rate from 35 percent to 25 percent and reduce the capital gains tax from 15 percent to 10 percent” platform. Yeah, that’s gonna go over real fucking well with the average voter who can barely pay his goddamn bills because of the food and energy inflation induced by the Fed’s continuing rate-cut handouts to Wall Street playas so they can feed their compulsive gambling addiction in the markets.

(Just a little digression on the rate cuts. Cutting Federal Reserve interest rates to try to solve the current problems with our economy is like giving a fucking eight-ball of China White to a jonesing heroin addict. He’ll feel absofuckinglutely great for a few days, but when the shit runs out, he’s in even worse shape than before, lying in the gutter in a pool of his own vomit, shaking like a leaf, and still addicted to heroin.

We’re gonna have a recession, at minimum. The only questions are When is it gonna start? How bad is it gonna be? and Who’s gonna get fucked up the worst?

Lowering interest rates will put it off long enough for the already-rich top 0.1% of Americans–the only beneficiaries of Giuliani’s fuckwit tax-cutting scheme (yeah, that’s a lot of votes)–to pull their Hummers up to the door of the vault, throw a bunch more money bags in the back, and speed off tires squealing. And guess whose money that is?

Lowering interest rates to goose “growth” while increasing inflation is exactly the same thing as grabbing American workers, turning them upside down, shaking the little cash they have left right-the-fuck-out of their pockets, and handing it to the already-rich. It is the exact same motherfucking thing.)

OK. Back to that shitheel Giuliani and his demented tax-cut idea. Continually cutting taxes cannot be the basis for public policy. Even third-grade students understand this. If you start with a number, and you keep “cutting” that number, eventually you reach zero.

“This multitrillion-dollar tax cut would easily exceed the level of the Reagan or Bush tax cuts,” [Giuliani’s] campaign said. Isn’t that fucking awesome? And I guess if Giuliani becomes President and enacts these tax cuts, then the next Republican candidate will propose a multi-trillion dollar tax cut that “would easily exceed the level of the Reagan, Bush, or Giuliani tax cuts”.

If we keep cutting taxes, how the fuck are we gonna pay for goddamn motherfucking double Guantanamo?

7 Responses to “Rudy “I’m Out Of My Fucking Mind But I Just Don’t Know It” Giuliani”


  1. For one thing, Bush has the exact same dysfunctional behavior as Ghouliani.
    For another, these stupid bastards seem to think that the money they keep shaking us down for is an infinite thing.
    Just who the fuck do they think is going to be running the goddamn government for them?
    It sure as fuck ain’t going to be all these rich assholes, or their fucking portfolio managers.
    Hate to tell these pipe dreamers, but the other 299 million people in this country actually DO things. Things like keep the fucking electricity flowing so their sauna’s work, fixing the goddamn roads, fixing the leaking sewer pipe coming from their twenty five hundred dollar commode.
    Keep giving away money to these people that don’t need it and sucking it from the ones that do and you are playing with fire.

  2. PhysioProf Says:

    “Things like keep the fucking electricity flowing so their sauna’s work, fixing the goddamn roads, fixing the leaking sewer pipe coming from their twenty five hundred dollar commode.”

    This reminds me that I gotta do a post on “libertarianism”.

  3. bikemonkey Says:

    just leave the NH little “l” libertarians out of it!


  4. […] 13, 2008 In my post yesterday about Rudy “Fucking Nuts” Giuliani, I made some parenthetical remarks about how to […]

  5. Loveandlight Says:

    I can explain Rudy Giuliani in three words: Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

  6. PhysioProf Says:

    Yep. But who wants to read a three word blog post?

    Although I do like the “Shorter…” gimmick that they use a lot at Sadly, No! If you haven’t seen that, you should go over there and check it out. It can be truly hilarious.


  7. […] like in a real game of three-card monte in Times Square (well, in the real Times Square before Rudy I’m Fucking Nuts Giuliani turned it into Disney’s “Times Square Land”), the egos of the rubes who […]


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