Shut The Fuck Up You Hypocritical Assholes

February 5, 2009

If I have to listen to another flabby soft sanctimonious teevee douchescrote cluck at Michael Phelps for smoking a motherfucking bonghit, I’m gonna projectile vomit. What percent of those cockspankers do you think have sparked up? 90? 95?

And fuck Phelps, too, for rolling over and begging for forgiveness for his “bad judgment”. Sack the fuck up, you fucking greedy quisling! Sparking up some kind bud with your pals is *good* judgment, and you know it, asshole.

36 Responses to “Shut The Fuck Up You Hypocritical Assholes”

  1. George Smiley Says:

    These last few posts you’re on a roll, PP. Nevertheless I feel compelled to point out that of the 90-95% of those cockspankers who have sparked up, at least 2% regret it personally, and at least 85% are so stupid that they actually are terrified that Phelps is personally gonna corrupt their daughters with his patented “webbed foot of ecstacy” technique.

  2. CyberLizard Says:

    Even though I’m one of the very few who have never actually taken a hit, I completely agree.

  3. arvind Says:

    Well, I don’t blame celebrities for rolling over to keep the gravy train on the tracks. They have a short window to shine and rake in whatever they can while their 15 mins are on. We need to blame our puritanical culture and this mad obsession to shield kids from every fucking thing in the world!

  4. juniorprof Says:

    WTF is a quisling?

  5. x-ine Says:

    He only groveled and begged for forgiveness because he doesn’t want to lose his millions in endorsements.

    Next time, he’ll have to be more discreet with his bonghits. When will celebrities learn?

  6. leigh Says:

    omg, smoking weed! he’s a bad bad influence! no more looking up to him ever again! his accomplishments now mean nothing!

  7. shane Says:

    I MEAN!! Grow a set! How ’bout: “I won a bazillion gold medals at the Olympics AND sometimes I smoke pot! So what?!” Man, I would love to see a refreshing response like that sometime.

  8. LostMarbles Says:

    Fuck. If you think your kids are going to become drug addicts just because they saw a picture of Phelps taking a toke, you are seriously living in a completely different reality from mine. Phelps and pot are the last things anyone needs to worry about.

  9. Evo Says:

    Here by way of Twisty’s and in no way disappointed! Just for the record, I have excellent judgment!

  10. veganrampage Says:

    Who was Quisling? This is an important question. From Wikipedia;

    Vidkun Abraham Lauritz Jonssøn Quisling (18 July 1887 – 24 October 1945) was a Norwegian army officer and politician. He worked with Fridtjof Nansen during the famine in the Soviet Union, and served as Minister of Defense in the Bondepartiet government 1931-1933. In 1933 he founded the nationalist party Nasjonal Samling (National Unity/National Gathering), and during World War II, from 1942 to 1945, he served as Minister-President of Norway, after being appointed by the German authorities. After the war he was tried for high treason and subsequently executed by firing squad. Today in Norway and other parts of the world, “Quisling” has become synonymous with “traitor”.

    As for Phelps, why O why do people ever look to athletes as some sort of role model? Better to look at them as an anti-hero.

  11. bikemonkey Says:

    the local bike club of dirty hippie longhairs from my formative years was notorious for the mid-ride stop for passthejoint. somehow all the local bikie kids managed to keep straight their respect for the bikeskillz* while laughing their asses off at the smokeouts.

    *I’m talking guys who actually WORK for a living, hard, showing up after a long day and putting down the motherfucking hammer. My hat is still off to those mofos.

  12. Stu Pidasso Says:

    What is weed? What is Phelps? what is life?

  13. DuWayne Says:

    Makes me want to go out and hit the bong a few time myself. But I won’t, even though it’d be fun…

    Motherfucking stupid fucking brain that’s wired weird!?!?!


  14. Comrade PhysioProf could use a motherfucking bonghit right about now.

  15. DuWayne Says:

    Me too. But I’ll have to settle for a motherfucking xanax. I post my intro essay, which happens to discuss the short version of my deconversion and the one person who reads my blog, who would have some objections to hearing about it emailed me less than ten minutes after I posted it.

    Xanax doesn’t provide the deeply satisfying bubbling sound…… OTOH, it won’t cause facial hair flareups either.

  16. juniorprof Says:

    Comrade PhysioProf could use a motherfucking bonghit right about now. So could JP, what a mutherfucking terrible day!

  17. Mr. Natural Says:

    Physioprof and JP I hope you found some ganj! Much better to have and don’t need than to need and don’t have, eh?

  18. darkblack Says:

    Good lawd, Comrade, can’t you see that the collapse of civilized society is imminent because of this crazed junkie fiend and his campaign of youth corruption?

    Why, next thing you know he’ll be endorsing this vile substance like it was Corn Flakes in mother’s milk or somesuch.

    ;>)

  19. Bi Avenger Says:

    This story makes me so angry. And now they’re punishing Phelps for the next three months and not letting him swim. It’s not like weed is exactly a performance-enhancing drug. As one of my friends said, “If he’s able to smoke and still swim like that, they should give him TWO gold medals. They should have a blunt waiting for him at the end of the pool.”

  20. Dr. No Says:

    I couldn’t agree more! Oh, and did you see the piece on Phelps in Slate’s “The Explainer”…with those lungs of his he can take SUPER bong hits, it would be a waste of talent if he didn’t smoke up.


  21. i guess the media got their diversion from real news. who the fuck cares what michael phelps does on his own time.


  22. [...] Please read Yves Smith’s blog post on Twitter, language and Orwell AND Sally Satel’s essay on paid organ donation for our discussion on vague word choice and argument structure for Monday, February 9. Also, underscoring the importance of word choice, “quisling” gets used in this profanity-laden blog post. [...]


  23. Last time I’ll ever pour a bowl of Frosted Flakes.

    Yeah, Phelps caved. So what. He’s just another flavor of the month for these endorsement goons. He could have showed some cajones and been strident about his tokin’ and smokin’ but he was between a rock and a hard on. Tell me that you’d done dif if you were faced with the loss of millions for a smoke of ghanj.

    The real deal is the discussion that got started by the reaction to this photo. It may be the watershed moment that’s needed to get the country’s attention on its fuck-up drug policy.

    The Reefer Madness over Michael Phelps and the rumors about who the next drug czar is(Gil Kerlikowske, Seattle Police chief?) could start the ball rolling (or joint rolling!) on this thing.

    Personally, I’d be proud to pass the bong to Phelps. But considering his lung capacity, I doubt I could afford it.

  24. Anonymous Says:

    Like you’ve never bent over and taken it !

    You sanctimonious turd.

  25. Wakjob Dunfor Says:

    STFU dumbass.

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