Prediction

February 28, 2010

Apolo Ohno is gonna end up a teevee douchebag.

Ponderable

February 28, 2010

How fucking cool is it when Tony Manero gives his first prize in the dance contest to the couple who should have won?

On A Happier Note

February 27, 2010

What The Fucking Fuck!?!?!?!?

February 27, 2010

What the fucking fuck is the motherfucking dealio with NBC doing a motherfucking long-winded retrospective piece on 9/11 in the middle of the motherfucking supposed Olympics program while LIVE MOTHERFUCKING SPORTS EVENTS ARE TAKING PLACE!?!?!?!?!? Fuck you NBC, you fucking ridiculous douchebags.

Question For My Readers

February 26, 2010

Can someone please explain to me why the Democrats didn’t take the opportunity of the “Health Care Summit” to tell the American people that the Republicans are lying, hateful, sacks of motherfucking shit who would be happy to see middle-class and poor Americans lying in the gutter dying of treatable illnesses and trying to survive eating fucking pet food? What motherfucking political genius decided that it made sense for the Democrats to keep talking like the Republicans are even engaging in good faith, let alone making any kind of fucking sense at all?

Scientists just have to sack the fuck up on this, and let go of the “he was meaaannnn when he told me my analysis was flawed/writing was shit/control was irrelevant”.

I forwarded the Specific Aims page of a grant I am currently working on to one of my colleagues to get some input. His input was a list of about a dozen things that need to be improved, and how to improve them. It was all just purely factual, but no punches pulled, none of this fucking molly-coddling “it was reaaaallly good, but could use some minor improvement”:

(1) blah, blah sounds stupid; write it like bleh, bleh.

(2) reviewers are gonna kick your ass for yadda, yadda; get rid of it.

(3) x, y, z makes it sound like you don’t even believe your own bullshit; change as follows

etc

My immediate reaction to his e-mail was, “Fuck you! These specific aims kick fucking ass! And what the fuck do you know, anyway?” This is everyone’s immediate reaction to substantial accurate criticism. Having experienced this a fuckthousand kajillion times, it took me only about 100 milliseconds to sack the fuck up and feel extremely grateful for his penetrating insights.

Tiger Woods

February 19, 2010

A few of my colleagues are feeling sorry for Tiger Woods, because they perceive the media and the golf establishment as somehow having “turned on him”.

Who gives a fuck? His public persona has jack fucking shit to do with him making moolah actually playing golf. But he has made hundreds of millions as a fucking shill. And he fucked up his shill shit by boning those chicks. So now he’s “apologizing” so he can keep his shill shit money stream flowing. Fuck his money shill stream shit. I am really having trouble understanding why I should give a flying fuck.

I don’t give a shit. Live by the sword, die by the sword. When you’re the highest paid, best at *anyfuckingthing* in the world, people want to take you down. He chose to be a shill for all these assholes and I couldn’t care less that they turned on him.

One of our commenters suggests the following strategy for getting what you want from an administrative bureaucrat:

I take a deep breath just before entering their office. [Then I look] them in the eye and say[] “look here you fuck, I need X, Y and Z. And you are wasting my fucking time with all this fucking bullshit. So what you are going to do, is get on that fucking computer of yours and type what ever the fuck it is you type in order to make it happen. Capice?”

Well, that is a close enough paraphrase!

Mike The Mad Fucking Biologist has an interesting post up today about defaulting, or threatening to default, on mortgages.

Corporations default on secured loans every fucking day simply as a business judgment, and no one says jack fuck about it being some sort of “moral failure”. And they threaten to default to renegotiate eleventeen fuckjillion times a day. Moralizing about home-owners defaulting on mortgages or threatening to default is nothing but corporate plutocrat propaganda.

w00t!

But did they really have to stick one of those douchebag bluetooth doohickeys in her ear? I mean, seriously, is there a single person on the entire face of the earth walking around with one of those things in their ear that is *not* a complete utter douche?

(h/t my favorite computer engineer!)

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