Fuck You, Twitdouches

April 28, 2010

BioE has discovered a new proposed “public art installation” for Cambridge, MA:

An urban art installation proposal by Nick Rodrigues would install sculpted pigeons in Cambridge, MA, each equipped with a “pico projector” that would project a live Tweet stream.

These tweetfucks aren’t fucking satisfied with smugly polluting the entire motherfucking Internet with their gibbering inane drivel? Now they need to pollute real live public spaces? Fuck twitter and fuck all the twitbags and their stupid motherfucking tweets.

And fuck you Cambridge if you allow this asshole to interfere with the serenity and well-being of your citizens.

Who the fuck are these ridiculous douchebags lining up for days to get a motherfucking iPad? Get a fucking grip on yourself asswipe: it’s not going to “change everything”. All it is is a small overpriced touchscreen laptop with no fucking keyboard.

In speaking with pilots, flight attendents, and a few TSA personnel since the pantie-bomber incident, the consensus seems to be that the national-level reaction to this incident is *grossly* overblown. These people deal with air travel every fucking day, and they have a realistic sense for the magnitude of the already vanishingly small risk we are talking about and the absurdity of spending umpteen bajillion fucking dollars and submitting to routine cavity searches to reduce it infinitesimally further.

The only people who seem to be in a pantswetting uproar are dumfuck coddled millionaire Villager teevee blitherers. Their reasons for this are two-fold:

(1) Discussion of “danger” and “security” and “war” and “cavity searches” and “racial profiling” and “muslim extremists” gives these mostly-white-d00d wealthy celebrity teevee smegwads a big massive thrilling stiffy and makes them feel important.

(2) The more inconvenience and indignity the shitty proles undergo while traveling, the more superior these somewhat wealthy celebrity teevee smegwads feel and thus can forget for a little while that that they are really just powerless bourgeois assholes lovingly tonguing the ballsacks of the infinity bajillionaire corporate oligarchs whose bidding they do.

Two Passengers Detained After Landing In Phoenix:

The passenger told authorities the two men, described as being Middle Eastern, were speaking “loudly” in their native language.

The passenger then saw a suicide bomber on the DVD version of the movie “The Kingdom,” and one of the men reportedly got up to use the lavatory when the fasten-seatbelt sign was lit.

“The totality of those three occurrences led this passenger to believe this was suspicious,” Johnson said.

The men were cooperative with the FBI when questioned, then were later released to catch another flight to their final destination in California. Neither was charged.

Yeah, evul terrorists totally implement their nefarious plans by speaking loudly to one another, playing suicide bomber DVDs, and brazenly flouting the fasten-seatbelt sign.

During the Jets broadcast after noting that the Lions are giving the Cardinals a hard time in today’s game:

There is no such thing as a schedule advantage in the NFL; you still have to win games.

(1) Make up your motherfucking mind about what motherfucking drink you want during the five minutes you have been waiting in the motherfucking line, not after you reach the head of the line and the motherfucking barista asks you what the fuck you want.

(2) Put away the motherfucking cell phone while you engage in your transaction with the motherfucking barista, as opposed to reaching the head of the line, being asked by the motherfucking barista what the fuck you want, and telling her to please wait a second and then proceeding to continue your motherfucking cell phone conversation about how cute your stupid motherfucking spawn who just started first motherfucking grade is while the rest of the poor fucks in line stand there like motherfucking idiots.

Yeah, the Irish are totally gonna win the BCS Championship. Why the fuck does ESPN give this cockwad a platform for his inanity? And has there ever been anyfuckingone with a worse voice for teevee?

DoucheMonkey Has A Question

November 1, 2008

Comrade PhysioProf’s friend and colleague DoucheMonkey has a question about why the Republican Party glorifies dumbfuck ignorance, and vilifies knowledge:

The press used to make fun of Clinton for his fondness for policy wankery wonkery. I never understood this. I wanted the President to know stuff. I still do.

How on earth did this ever become a partisan divide?

DoucheMonkey, my friend and colleague, Comrade PhysioProf has the answer: It became a partisan divide when the Republican Party made the explicit decision in the 1960s to rebuild their party on the electoral foundation of 40 million moral and intellectual degenerates.

Huge massive swinging dick atheist blogger PZ Myers referred to depraved theocratic douchecornet Ken Ham as “chief wackaloon” of his wacked-out cosmic sky fairy fantasy outfit, and Ham is vewy, vewy angwy:

Notice how these evolutionists use such emotive language and name calling (e.g., “wackaloon”)—very academic, scientific arguments!

People like PZ Myers are those who call for tolerance—but their intolerance for Christians illustrates clearly the spiritual nature of this battle—otherwise, why would they care?

If these deranged motherfuckers weren’t so deadset on destroying the fruits of the Rational Enlightenment and bringing us back to the Dark Ages, they’d be totally fucking hilarious.

I don’t really have the patience for exegesis of this kind of cockamamie narishkeit, but certain “framers”–non-scientists who seem to spend a lot of fucking time telling scientists how to act to “further the scientific agenda”–have apparently been popping big fucking woodies over the response of non-insane bloggers to the “Expelled” kerfuffle, wherein ridiculous demented right-wing wackaloon theocratic douchemonkeys expelled big huge swinging throbbing massive atheist cockmaster blogger PZ Myers from the loonie theocratic anti-reality wacked-out Jesus-freak movie Expelled. Read the rest of this entry »

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