Clinton Is Crack, Obama Is Crank

February 7, 2008

There is an idea floating around that Hillary Clinton is less “electable” than Barack Obama, because the right-wing authoritarian leaders are champing at the bit to push the “Hitlery Klinton!!1!!1!!” button and set in motion a whirlwind of vicious hate from their drooling legions of authoritarian follower fuckknuckle wackadoodleloons, fueled on by a media attack machine that has been honing its Clinton-boning knives for almost 20 year.

(Just a parenthetical note about “electability” as a general concept. When progressives judge candidates through the lens of electability, they harm their progressive agenda, and succor the “centrist” Democratic Party status quo power structure. Electability is always skewed in favor of the status quo, because it is viewed as an intrinsic attribute of a candidate, rather than, as it should be, a consequence of events, some of which can be substantially influenced by the candidate. The very discourse of electability harms progressive candidates.)

Anyway, back to the Hitlery Klinton!!1!!1!! button theory. Driftglass expressed the idea with spare elegance, having this to say in a hypothetical retrospective on a Clinton nomination:

Why, of all the candidates we had at our disposal, did my Party pick the one who motivates the Right as no one else can to swing with all of their remaining fucktard fury for the fascist fences one last time.

The idea that Obama will be largely immune to this and, therefore, have a substantial “electability” advantage over Clinton strikes PhysioProf as a load of fucking horseshit. It grossly underestimates the extent to which the syphilitic spongiform encephalopathic core of the hate-besotted right can transfer their hate smoothly and efficiently onto whomever their autoritarian masters serve up as the next Dirty Fucking Hippy Traitor Enemy.

Think about it this way. These people are addicted to hate like a kill-your-own-grandmother-and-steal-the-money-under-her-mattress addict is addicted to crack. 1992 is a week ago, and Bill and Hillary Clinton are a fresh eight-ball.

Suppose that eight-ball runs out today, and the only shit on the street is crystal meth: no fucking crack to be found. Not a fucking problem: within just a few days, our addict is spun-to-the-hubs, a tweaking teeth-rotting-down-to-the-fucking-pulp screaming-in-the-streets-at-total-strangers apotheotic crankhead.

“Crack, what’s that? I luuuurve me some crank!!!!!! Gnash, gnash, gnash.”

ONE MORE FUCKING TIME–WITH EMPHASIS!!!!! If you think that if you just keep your head down and try not to anger the right-wing loonietoon machine, it’ll leave you alone, you gotta pull your head out of your ass. These deluded crazyfuck assmongers have an inexhaustable reservoir of pure unadulterated hate, and they eagerly and tirelessly pour it on whatever target they are told to by their evil authoritarian daddies. It doesn’t matter what the target says or does, or even who the fuck it is. Your own grandma could be the next AMERICA-HATING TRAYT0RZ!!!1111!!1!! by tomorrow.

5 Responses to “Clinton Is Crack, Obama Is Crank”

  1. bustednuckles Says:

    You are absolutely correct sir.
    Look no farther than the current self immolation going on in the Republican party itself if you need further examples of unstoppable, bred in at birth, uncontrolled and inexplicable hate run amok.

  2. terry Says:

    yes, yes, yes, yes to everything you said.

    BTW, wasn’t Kerry the most “electable” last election? What did that get us?

  3. Nan Says:

    Amen, and a shout out to Terry, too, for pointing out where “electability” got us the last time around.

  4. bikemonkey Says:

    last time? last time????


    “electability” equals “loserability”

  5. […] onto whomever their autoritarian masters serve up as the next Dirty Fucking Hippy Traitor Enemy. Clinton Is Crack, Obama Is Crank « PhysioProf   « And they wonder why, generally, about half the population couldn’t give a […]

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