Baseball Players Need To Sack The Fuck Up
May 9, 2008
Yesterday during the Yankees pre-game show, Michael Kay asked manager Joe Girardi about the foofaraw surrounding phenom pitcher Joba Chamberlain’s habit of fist pumping when he strikes out a batter. For those that don’t give a flying fuck about the Yankees, or even about baseball, the context here is that baseball players are very, very concerned about being “shown up” by opposing players. So a bunch of whiny-ass fucknozzle batters who have been struck out by Chamberlain have complained that his fist-pumping is “showing them up”, and he better stop it because he is TOTALLY RUINING THE DIGNITY OF THE GAME OF BASEBALL!!!!1!111!!11!!TWELVETY!1!!!!1!!!!!1
Girardi’s answer—while technically correct—shows you how ridiculous these pampered baby-ass baseball players really are. According to Girardi’s analysis, Chamberlain’s fist-pumping is absolutely fine, because when he does it he is looking into the Yankees’ dugout, and not at the batter he just struck out, or at the oppposing team’s dugout. This means that he is not “showing up” the opposing batter or team, but rather is simply “celebrating” with his teammates.
In the context of absurd wackadoodle semiotics of athletic celebratory fist-pumping, this analysis is definitely correct. But the fact that it even needs to be engaged is totally fucking pathetic.
If you don’t want to get “shown up” by Chamberlain, don’t let him strike you the fuck out! And for fuck’s sake, don’t be such a sensitive soul that it hurts your baby-ass feelings that an enthusiastic kid pumps his fucking fist at you after striking your overpaid whiny-ass the fuck out!
(And let’s not even get into the fact that plenty of other pitchers do the same exact fucking thing—including lame-ass Red Sox closer Jonathon Papelbon—without comment, and the only reason Chamberlain is TOTALLY RUINING THE DIGNITY OF BASEBALL!!11!!!!!11! is because he is a New York Yankee.)