Note To Senior Faculty

May 2, 2009

Dear Unproductive Senior Faculty:

If you have proven your total inability to effectively manage a laboratory containing a half dozen scientists, where the fuck do you get the cockamamie idea that you know better than the motherfucking dean how to run a motherfucking medical school with hundreds of faculty and thousands of other scientists? And when you bloviate endlessly at faculty meetings about what the dean is doing wrong and what he should be doing, you are not impressing anyone. At best you inspire pity, and at worst total fucking derision.

Please shut the fuck up already, get your own house in order, and leave the rest of us the fuck alone.

Sincerely,

Your Productive Colleagues

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7 Responses to “Note To Senior Faculty”


  1. And people wonder why I dropped out of high school


  2. Dude, I would totally pay good money to see you in a faculty meeting!

  3. Sili Says:

    Good thing I never made it into academia proper.

    I’dn’t have been on the productive side, I fear.

  4. River Tam Says:

    Sing it, brother. We have several of those in our department. If someone can’t publish a paper in 20 years despite not being able to fill (and thus not teaching) a class during that time because they are so dreadfully awful the students have their face on some top 10 professors to avoid bulletin board, then why WHY should I listen to anything that comes out of their mouth? Especially since every word is about how things should be changed to be better for THEIR research program. WHAT RESEARCH PROGRAM? (but I’m not bitter about the fact that they get paid more than me to do less research, teaching, and service…no, no. not at all…)


  5. Dude – if you substitute “a handful of faculty and the occasional scientist” for “hundreds of faculty and thousands of other scientists” we could be in the same department!


  6. I think this deserves a big “oh, snap.” (and a huge THANK GOD that my dept head told me I had better things to do than attend faculty meetings)


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