June 29, 2009
June 28, 2009
What the fucking fuck is that incessant loud buzzing sound filling the motherfucking stadium? It sounds like eleventeen bajillion fucktillion angry motherfucking bumble bees.
June 28, 2009
Jacksonville Police say they arrested a man for having weapons of mass destruction.
On Friday officers arrested Clay Stampley from a routine traffic stop. Police say Stampley was carrying a concealed weapon which turned out to be a sawed off shotgun.
After a search of a residents police say they found another sawed off shot gun. Stampley is being held on a $25,000 bond.
A dude with a motherfucking sawed-off shotgun is being charged with possession of a weapon of mass motherfucking destruction!?!?!? What the fucking fuck are these deranged cops smoking?
June 23, 2009
Who the fuck is Kim Kardashian, and why the fuck am I getting hammered with spam comments providing links to pictures of him or her nude?
UPDATE: After I published this post, the deluge of Kim Kardashian Nude comment spam ceased. Maybe the Kim Kardashian Nude spam-bots are designed to not post Kim Kardashian Nude spam comments on Web sites that appear to be their Kim Kardashian Nude competition?
June 22, 2009
Last night I dreamt that I was sitting on a park bench on a beach next to former President George H.W. Bush. His left forearm was in a cast. We were chatting, and I asked him where his Secret Service protector dudes were. He suddenly stood up, threw me to the sand, pulled a sawed-off shotgun out of his cast, and shoved the barrel into my motherfucking chest. As I struggled to push the gun away, shouting, “George! George! What the fucking fuck are you doing!?!?!?”, I woke up.
Before I went to sleep last night, I ate some peanut M&Ms.
June 18, 2009
A dude just called in to a sports radio show I am listening to to complain about the US Open golf tournament’s treatment of today’s ticket holders. For those who aren’t aware, today’s first round started, and a few players played a few holes, and then it got suspended, and finally rained out. This ticket holder claims that (1) no one told the fans after it was suspended that the round was finally called until hours later, and allowed them to spend money on beer, food, etc, thinking it could start back up, and (2) today’s ticket holders were told that their tickets are no good tomorrow, even though it is the first round that is going to be played tomorrow, and (3) NO REFUNDS.
OUTRAGE!!!!!!11!!!ELEVENTY!111!!!!!! And I am not kidding. If I were that dude, I would be fucking livid! I’m NOT that dude, and I’m fucking livid!!!!!!!!
UPDATE:Some USGA douchenozzle announced this morning that yesterday’s tickets will be valid for play on Monday, if there *is* play on Monday. This is a decent bet, unless they manage to get four rounds in over three days, or if there is a playoff (which is not sudden death like in PGA tournaments, but a full round).
June 18, 2009
Yeah, I know. Every fucking blog on Earth has embedded this Youtube. So fucking sue me.
UPDATE: PETA is completely out of their motherfucking minds:
In a nutshell, our position is this: He isn’t the Buddha, he’s a human being, and human beings have a long way to go before they think before they act.