Happy Motherfucking New Year, Peeps!

Peace! Love! Motherfucking Jameson!

Rejection of Reality

Rational response to terrorism necessarily includes giving serious consideration to the fact that *our* actions as the biggest imperial military power on Earth have a massive influence on the *desire* of wackaloon nutjobs to blow themselves to smithereens while taking out one of our civilian aircraft. Of course, this consideration is absolute taboo in our depraved and toxic political culture because ARE YOU SAYING AMERKUH *DESERVES* TO BE ATTACKED??!?!?!?!!111!!!1!!!!???!!?!?!???
TREASON!!1!!1!!TRAIOTR!!!1!!!ELEVNTYY!!111!!!
USAQ!USA!USA!USA!

UPDATE: Comrade PhysioProf beats Greenwald to the punch!

Get A Fucking Grip You Pantswetting Douchewads

Two Passengers Detained After Landing In Phoenix:

The passenger told authorities the two men, described as being Middle Eastern, were speaking “loudly” in their native language.

The passenger then saw a suicide bomber on the DVD version of the movie “The Kingdom,” and one of the men reportedly got up to use the lavatory when the fasten-seatbelt sign was lit.

“The totality of those three occurrences led this passenger to believe this was suspicious,” Johnson said.

The men were cooperative with the FBI when questioned, then were later released to catch another flight to their final destination in California. Neither was charged.

Yeah, evul terrorists totally implement their nefarious plans by speaking loudly to one another, playing suicide bomber DVDs, and brazenly flouting the fasten-seatbelt sign.

Merry Whatthefuckever!

I Love Professional Sports, But…

I love sports, and it makes me fucking sick the way professional sports teams, leagues, and–most vomit-inducing–pampered teevee blitherers tie themselves to the Troops (TM) like a motherfucking string of tin cans clanking along the road behind the car of a newlywed couple. Mike and Mike are the absolute fucking worst with their slavering gun-sniffing.

It’s the same thing with latching on to “disease awareness” crapola. Mike and Mike make a huge fucking dealio every year about Coaches for Cancer and blather on and on endlessly about how important it is for their listeners to support this charity.

A couple years back, this Coaches for Cancer shit was going on right at exactly the same time that the United States Congress was debating the Health and Human Services appropriations bill, and whether to increase NIH funding, which includes the National Cancer Institute. I sent an e-mail to Mike and Mike explaining that the entire research budget of Coaches for Cancer is a pittance compared to the potential NCI increase that was being debated in the Congress, and that if they really cared about cancer research, they should exhort their listeners to call their Congresspeople and tell them that they are in favor of the NIH budget increase.

Do you think they even for one fucking second considered doing this, or that I even received a reply to my e-mail? Fuck no. Because they don’t give a single fucking shit about cancer, or the troops, or anyfuckingthing other than self-righteously aggrandizing themselves about “making a difference”.

The National Cancer Institute doesn’t invite teevee douchebags to some rubber chicken dinner event where they can show their greasy ugly mugs on teevee yet again with some hoodwinked sick little kid looking up at them worshipfully, and so they don’t give a single flying fuck.

I love professional sports, but I fucking hate the douchebag teevee motherfuckers and the nasty-ass sleazy corporate marketing garbaggio associated with it.

(h/t Ed, for riling me up.

Filling Roles

It has been said that what distinguishes great golfers from not-so-great golfers is not the quality of their good shots, but the quality of their bad shots. While their good shots do not differ very much, the great golfers’ bad shots are much better than the not-so-great golfers’ bad shots.

The administrative lesson to take from this is that you assign roles based on trying to minimize the likely badness of the poorest aspect of fit of each individual to their role, rather than trying to maximize the likely goodness of the best aspect of fit of each individual to their role.

Expert NFL Ponderable

If Minnesota and the Eagles both end up 12-4 or 11-5, who gets the first round bye?

Motherfucker!

How many motherfucking open-field tackles are the motherfucking Eagles gonna fucking miss!?!?!?!?

Question For My Readers

Is there some reason that all the NFL teevee douchebags pronounce Jets QB Mark Sanchez’s name as “Mark San-CHEZ”–with the stress on the second syllable–rather than as “Mark SAN-chez”–which seems like the more prevalent pronounciation of this very common last name?

Is that how Sanchez’s family pronounces the name? Or are these motherfucking NFL teevee douchebags just trying to sound more “authentic”? Because every single motherfucking one of them has been doing this all season long.

Woefully Arrant Bullshit NFL Teevee Douchebags Say

During the Jets broadcast after noting that the Lions are giving the Cardinals a hard time in today’s game:

There is no such thing as a schedule advantage in the NFL; you still have to win games.