Tiger Woods

February 19, 2010

A few of my colleagues are feeling sorry for Tiger Woods, because they perceive the media and the golf establishment as somehow having “turned on him”.

Who gives a fuck? His public persona has jack fucking shit to do with him making moolah actually playing golf. But he has made hundreds of millions as a fucking shill. And he fucked up his shill shit by boning those chicks. So now he’s “apologizing” so he can keep his shill shit money stream flowing. Fuck his money shill stream shit. I am really having trouble understanding why I should give a flying fuck.

I don’t give a shit. Live by the sword, die by the sword. When you’re the highest paid, best at *anyfuckingthing* in the world, people want to take you down. He chose to be a shill for all these assholes and I couldn’t care less that they turned on him.


41 Responses to “Tiger Woods”

  1. bikemonkey Says:

    This is not about “feeling sorry for” Tiger. This is about analyzing the public reaction to Tiger’s golf greatness. dumbass.

  2. This is about analyzing the public reaction to Tiger’s golf greatness.

    In what sense does skill at golf constitute “greatness”? The only think I can think of that’s even more boring and pointless that using expensive equipment to hit a tiny little ball on the vast waste of water, labor and arable land that is a golf course is actually watching someone do so, however skillfully he manages to do it.

    And the only thing I can think of that’s more boring and pointless than watching someone golf is analyzing the reactions of people who do think that watching someone golf is the height of thrill.

    Honestly: how stupid does one have to be to care about idiots who study morons who admire doofuses?

  3. Of course, if it floats your boat to care about the public reaction to some doofus’s skill at getting a little ball in a little cup and who that doofus is fucking, *shrugs* knock yourself out. It’s a free country. But some of us are going to be sitting at the bar, knocking down Jameson’s, thinking, “God damn, humanity is just too fucking stupid to live.”

  4. Marilyn Mann Says:

    Totally agree.

  5. Katharine Says:

    It’s sports. Normal people shouldn’t care about this shit. It’s what’s between your ears that counts.

  6. This is just about him wooing the public over so he can keep sponsorships and keep whacking the shit out of the proverbial cash pinata.

  7. Like DM said, this has nothing to do with feeling sorry for Tiger. I don’t.
    I do however relish every opportunity to point out hypocrisy, especially when it exists in the ranks of the fourth estate. Speaking of which….

  8. I do however relish every opportunity to point out hypocrisy…

    Indeed. I myself relish every opportunity to point out that the Earth orbits the Sun.

  9. bikemonkey Says:

    a touch less stoopid than one has to be to write a screed bitching about idiots who study morons who admirer doofuses.

  10. Bi Avenger Says:

    I couldn’t believe that Tiger Woods’s apology was the headline when I looked at all the major news corporations’ sites this morning (including the BBC!). Oh, wait, yes I could. But for a long time I didn’t have internet access or TV at home, and had gone back to being blissfully unaware of the saturation of this shit.

    I agree with you and Genomic Repairman.

  11. bikemonkey Says:

    even NPR was all over this action!!! It is the news event of the week. get with the program haters

  12. a touch less stoopid than one has to be to write a screed bitching about idiots who study morons who admirer doofuses.

    This could regress forever.

  13. … for a new cardinality of infinite stupidity.

  14. smmo Says:

    From Tiger: “I felt I was entitled.” Wow, so it is almost like there is male privilege or something?

    From the Zeitgeist: why would he cheat on his wife with less hott women? (hits self in head with hammer)

    From Elin: (silence) Smart lady.

  15. Nobody but Tiger can know the true motivation behind his actions and the timing thereof. Those who choose to take the cynical viewpoint are just as justified, a priori, as those who choose to give him the benefit of the doubt.
    If one has to go by the available evidence, however, it appears that Tiger is trying seriously to get help and is trying desperately to save his relationship with his family. If he were to apologize to keeping his shilling revenue alive and well he could have gone a very different path. He could have already done the things the so-called experts have called on him to do, including crying on Oprah and all that crap. He could have come out with such a statement much earlier, when the media and golf powerbrokers were clamoring for it. I am sure he could have saved the Accenture sponsorship if he he danced to their tune—you really think they didnt try to get him to do some such apology-dance-talkshow-circuit-shit so that they wouldn’t have to completely re-invent their entire ad campaign, including removing his likeness from every airport and thousands of billboards, overnight?
    Anyway, his statement today, in content, tone and timing, is highly indicative of a man following something akin to a 12-step program. I think this is why Tiger’s agent indicated that the timing of this was not entirely upto them. It appears that Tiger is at a stage of his therapy where he needed to apologize, openly, categorically and unconditionally, to everyone he may have hurt. This is what he did, and he has gone back to resume his rehab.
    In my opinion, if he weren’t following a therapy strategy laid out by a medical professional, he could have eschewed this kind of statement and higly publicly humbling scenario—he could have apologized to his family and friends in private and apologized to his fans and followers on his website via a video statement or whatever. And then started playing golf. Let me reiterate what I’ve said before—he could have done no public apologies, and his endorsements would have been back in force when he started winning again. Corporate America has shown repeatedly that it has no ethic—when he started commanding eyeballs to TVs again, they’d gladly whore themselves to him again.
    All the events of the past 2 months or so, culminating with today’s announcement, indicate that Tiger appears to be following a therapeutic regimen, and his priority appears to be to save his marriage and personal relationships.

  16. bikemonkey Says:

    Good eye AM. I hadn’t thought of it that way but you have an interesting point about the 12step-like thing…

  17. Spiny Norman Says:

    I fucking hate golf and golfers (a good walk, spoiled). I also think Woods has gotten a bum rap.

    Woods is *supremely* skilled at something probably not much more esoteric than what Comrade PP does for a living, and yes, his race *is* a major factor here. It is a huge mistake to discount how much of a factor our sick-fuck racist culture is in this whole debacle.

  18. bikemonkey Says:

    A LOT more people play golf than profess Physiology!!! Dunno about the MFJ though.

  19. smmo Says:

    Puh-leeze. Has he evinced one iota of regret for, oh, using women like so much kleenex? For immersing himself up to his eyeballs in rape culture? How about a donation to organizations that help trafficked women? I didn’t see any of that. He knows he’s lost the racists and the nutball Xians, but the liberals will be sympathetic to some 12-step and Buddhist hoo-ha. Easy peasy.

    There is nothing stopping him from doing his actual job (golfing) but there is something stopping him from golfing and selling shit. Since he already has more money than he and his great-great-grandchildren can ever spend I’m going to assume he’s just a greedy asshole with an overwhelming need to be approved of by people he doesn’t know.

  20. Narya Says:

    The thing is, he would need to say approximately the same things whether he were (a) truly sorry, on a path to make amends to the people he has harmed, and taking steps to change behavior that he has come to recognize as harmful to others and to himself, or (b) trying to reingratiate himself with the people writing the checks. Though I profoundly do not care about golf or any other part of this, I did go read the transcript (because it seemed like I should do that before I had an opinion about it). I was struck by a few things: first, his statements to the effect that this is only the beginning. He said (and, maybe, understands) that the repair is a process, not an event; he will have to demonstrate, through his behavior, that he is trustworthy, and, even then, the people around him may not be able to trust or forgive him. But I am not among those people, because I don’t know the man. Second, I thought he owned his behavior–way more than I would expect most public figures to do. Really, it’s not my business what he does with his genitalia.

    Which is perhaps the most important thing here. If he is trying to change his ways, then good on him–but there isn’t any way for us, as outsiders to his private life, to know the details, and it isn’t up to us to judge whether he has done so. If we still don’t like him, well, don’t buy the products he endorses and/or don’t watch him play golf; simple as that.

  21. History Punk Says:

    “From Tiger: “I felt I was entitled.” Wow, so it is almost like there is male privilege or something? ”

    Now, how does his male privilege compare to his being disadvantaged due to his non-whiteness. Does maleness outweigh non-whiteness? But what objective measure does one use to compare this? What about class privilege?

    “Has he evinced one iota of regret for, oh, using women like so much kleenex? For immersing himself up to his eyeballs in rape culture? ”

    What rape culture? Those women were free to enter into a relationship with him and end it at any time. His having earned a lot of money using skills deemed good and valuable by the free market to earn money to impress money and the use of themselves to impress women to get laid does not constitute rape or participation in rape culture.

    Also, if you want to see a rape culture, spend time in an American prison for males.

    “How about a donation to organizations that help trafficked women”

    As opposed to a donation to AIDS research, prostate cancer research, or any other worthy charity? Why should be donate to your favorite charity and cause, instead of mine?

  22. smmo Says:

    Also, if you want to see a rape culture, spend time in an American prison for males.


  23. bikemonkey Says:

    I think there’s a formula for that privilege calculation, HisPun. It’s complex stuff though. You have to have some oppression olympics training to grasp it.

  24. “We’re not saying golf is usually a lame sport. All we’re saying is that it’s the only sport where a miniature version exists solely to make it more exciting by adding multi-colored balls, frustrating windmills and giant plastic dinosaurs to the mix.”

    Matthew Hayden

  25. skeptifem Says:

    I have heard nothing but “I don’t give two shits about this” about the tiger woods thing. I am surrounded by loud mouthed idiots, old people watching fox news all morning, and no one cares at all about this but it gets tons of air time anyway. I have a feeling something else really important is happening right now that isn’t getting much press.

  26. antipodean Says:

    CPP “I don’t give a shit.”

    You fucking love every second of a corporate douchebag getting it.

    AM. Nice idea but those 12-step ‘tell everybody your problem and apologise for it’ bullshit has got fuck all to do with medicine and quite a lot to do with the one true American religion of Freudianism. His childhood/mummy/daddy/cigar made him do it.

  27. smmo Says:

    Everyone is simply too overwhelmed by the hypocrisy of a man “apologizing” for doing what his culture encourages him to do at every turn.

  28. smmo Says:

    Why should be donate to your favorite charity and cause, instead of mine?

    To show some awareness of what he is supposed to apologizing or?

    Also, if you want to see a rape culture, spend time in an American prison for males.

    Where exactly do you think that horrifying culture emanates from? Clue: the male victims are called bitches, as in women.

  29. History Punk Says:

    “To show some awareness of what he is supposed to apologizing or?”

    He is apologizing for cheating on his wife by having lots of mutually agreed upon sex with a lot of different women and getting caught and called out publicly. Whatever Andrea Dworkin may have told you, mutually agreed upon sex by mature adults is not evil.

    He is also apologizing for making his commericial sponsors look bad.

    If anything he should donate to a Nike’s charity or to his wife’s favorite charity.

  30. skeptifem Says:

    If you are genuinely interested about the intersection of race, class, and gender privilege I recommend some bell hooks. She presents very good critiques and examples of how these things intersect and interact in society. I think you put his race out there to dismiss the idea that rape culture and sexism exists rather than to get an answer to your question, but hey, it might be worth a shot to talk to ya.

    Privilege isn’t a point system where his race knocks him down a peg into white woman status. The comparison just doesnt work, he cannot get white privilege from being a dude, and I can’t get male privilege by being white. What kind of privilege is granted to people is decided by the social context that the person exists in. He is privileged in some ways by being a man, and by having wealth, and he is disadvantaged in some ways by being a person of color. There was not a contradiction in calling him privileged in a situation that is related to male privilege (feeling entitled to sex from women).

    I saw yer swipe at dworkin towards the end there. So, what books of hers did you read? I am betting it is zero.

  31. smmo Says:

    In this context, skeptifem, Dworkin doesn’t function as a writer but as a conversation stopper, feminist shutter-upper and all-around bogey woman.

    Nice work history punk. Your bingo card is nearly full!

  32. Narya Says:

    Jesusfuckingchristonacracker, my htmlfail is spotless these days.

  33. antipodean Says:

    Fuck it!

    You have a point and are of course correct.

    Nevertheless could we file it under the general heading of “made up bullshit masquerading as science that people called councellors can charge for”?

  34. bikelib Says:

    Rape culture? RAPE CULTURE? Are you for fuckin real? Or did Andrea Dworkin start commenting here?

  35. smmo Says:

    Again with the Andrea Dworkin BS? Hey CPP, why all the MRA action here?

    “Rape culture” as in we live in a culture, as in patriarchy, that hates women. Not that he raped anyone that we know of. And that’s as far as 101 goes today asshole.

  36. bikelib Says:

    Reply to below: If no actual rape occurred or was alleged to have occurred, then stop throwing the word around so carelessly. It cheapens and deligitimizes it those times when it REALLY is the issue.

  37. bikelib Says:

    Sorry. That should be reply to ABOVE.

  38. smmo Says:

    Hey bikelib, your stupidity is surpassed only by your predictability.

  39. bikelib Says:

    Guess that settles that. Thanks for setting me straight. So mysogyny, the attitude, by definition, = rape, the action?

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