March 21, 2010

I don’t really know if this bill is any good, but seeing those fucking republican skeezfucks take a massive steel-toed boot in the motherfucking gonads is doubleplusultrafuckingoutstanding.


March 21, 2010

Watching the House on C-SPAN. Here are a few preliminary thoughts:

(1) I was laughing my fucking ass off when they all turned and faced the flag and recited the pledge of allegiance. What is this, fucking grade school?

(2) The Republicans really are total raving fucking maniacs (and shitty actors). Passing this bill is tyranny?? Really??

(3) Who the fuck is Clarence D. Lumpkin, and why the fuck is a post office being named after him?

(4) That was pretty fucking hilarious when some douchebag Republican scuzbucket from Jersey raised some parliamentary question about why the acting speaker wouldn’t grant him ten minutes to “speak to the american people” instead of five minutes, and the acting speaker told him to fuck off.

UPDATE: Whoever is the acting speaker right now (3:20PM D.C. time) is a badass. Oh, they just displayed that it’s Jesse Jackson, Jr. He is a stern motherfucker. And things are getting very heated. Issa is a smarmy dude.

UPDATE 2: Half of these fucking republican douchebags look and sound like they’ve been on three-day booze benders.

UPDATE 3: Heed the gavel, motherfuckers!


March 18, 2010

What the fucking fuck is the deal with all this GIANT BLUEBERRY spam?

Chief Motherfucking Justice of the Supreme Motherfucking Court of the United States had his feefees hurt by mean owd Pwesident Owbama.

Sack the fuck up, you fucking pathetic asshole.

Adios, Motherfucker

March 7, 2010

Shitass singer Ronan Tynan–who used to pollute the 7th inning stretch at Yankee Stadium with his grotesque fake-ass militaristic God Bless America glurge until he got caught up in some supposed anti-semitic comment foofaraw–has moved to Boston. I have no idea whether he deserved to be run out of town or not, but good fucking riddance to the asshole. He’ll fit right in in the Red Sock fan-riddled shithole that is Beantown.

When asked whether he would consider vomiting up his shit at Fenway Park, he said he wouldn’t rule it out. Hilariously, a Boston Globe Red Sock beat writer told him in no uncertain terms to fuck right off.

Scientific Taste

March 6, 2010

Jeezus fuck! All that “This protein does fuckthing to this other protein and then PROFIT!” shit makes me want to stab my fucking eyeballs out.


March 6, 2010

As part of their St. Patrick’s Day Parade (which is held today) zero tolerance policy, the city of Hoboken, NJ, has decided to allow bars to open two hours early at 9AM instead of the usual 11AM. Now that’s the kind of zero motherfucking tolerance I can get behind!

Jeezus Fuck, Holmes

March 5, 2010

Jake Delhomme oughta sack the fucking fuck up and lay off the weeping willow shit. He’s got bajillions of fucking dollars in the bank, and is gonna be one of the hottest free agents out there, in a no-salary-cap year.

Jon Swift, R.I.P.

March 4, 2010

Reasonable conservative blogger Jon Swift has just died, as reported by his mom in a comment at his blog. It is a tremendous fucking shame that he will not be around to see his reasonable conservative ideas in action repairing the destruction wreaked on America by radical leftist Obama.