Jeezus Motherfucke

April 14, 2011

You really think it’s a good idea to show slides with multiple panels labelled “Ai”, “Aii”, “Aiii”, “Bi”, “Bii”, “Ci”, “Cii”, “Ciii”, etc, each filled with multiple teeny tiny squiggles and shitte? Fucken goddamn motherfucken electrophysiology douchefuckes shouldn’t be allowed to give fucken talks. Fucken rig jockey assholes.

29 Responses to “Jeezus Motherfucke”

  1. becca Says:

    Dude, I know you don’t think much of me, but that is seriously the most beautiful blog post ever.
    Disclaimer: I might have rig jockey asshole issues.

  2. DrugMonkey Says:

    O c’mon. Give the poor graduate student a break. Typical to be so obsessed with all the kewl data they generated that they bore you to tears with minutia. Once they reach postdoctoral level, they’ll start to be able to tell an actual story….

  3. Anonymous Says:

    I know, cause no boring asse gel jockey ever showed some fucken westerns or some goddamn immunocytochemistry (with some bogus colocalization garbage) ever did shitte like that.

    It’s all the rig jockeys. Fuckee you!

  4. Nat Says:

    Now, I may be a master rig jockey, who never had more than 5 panels in a figure, and no more than 2 panels on a talk slide, but I can’t for the life of me remember to type my name in a comment.

    But I ownne that anony post above you shitte for brainz.

  5. This was no graduate student. It was a tenured faculty member at an elite private institution.

  6. anon Says:

    That explains it. The tenured prof was probably telling some cool and interesting story, and then posted a figure provided by his grad student or post-doc that he himself could not understand. Was it something like this?: … “and this is the data with all the squiggly lines that supports what I’m sayin…” next slide..

  7. Comrade PhysioProf Says:

    No, that doesn’t explain it. Every single motherfucken slide was like that. This fucke is a fucken rig jockey, and has no fucken clue how to explain his motherfucken tiny squiggles to anyone other than a roomful of other fucken rig jockeys. It was a disgrace.

  8. drugmonkey Says:

    fuken rig jockeys. fuken gel jockeys. fuken pipette douches.

  9. anon Says:

    ok, so was he in a room full of fucken rig jockeys?

  10. anontwo Says:

    can’t the nose-poking rat jockeys get some love?

  11. drugmonkey Says:

    fuken rat jockeys. fuken mouse jockeys. fucken pigeon jockeys.

  12. Nat Says:

    Fucken zebrafinch jockeys. Take your birdsongge learning, your Area X or whatte’er the fucke you call it, and fucke off!

  13. All you fucken fuckeasse jockeys can do whatever the fucke you fucken want. But how about doing a decent motherfucken jobbe explaining it to a non-jockey audience?

  14. drugmonkey Says:

    fuken fMRI douchnozzles.

  15. Comrade PhysioProf Says:

    At least you can understand those motherfucken fMRI fairy tales.

  16. K Says:

    Fucke vertebrate jockeys! Invertebrates are cooler, douchefuckbaggenozzles.

  17. ginger Says:

    Talks are just there to give you a hardon for the paper.

  18. Namnezia Says:

    Were all these panels up at once, or did they appear sequentially in different slides?

    Sounds like the dude was too fucking lazy to re-format his figures from the paper. I mean why do you need letters (ie. A, B, C) for a slide since you are actually there in person to provide the commentary?

  19. biochembelle Says:

    “Here, let me torture you with completely unreasonable amounts of data-that you probably can’t even read-until your eyes bleed… and then I’ll do it some more. HAHAHAHAHA!”

    This shitte drives me crazy. Although still perhaps not quite as bad as the biostats jockey whose slides were nothing but unreadable pathways and derivatives that could not fit on a single slide-for an audience of chemists and biologists. I often wonder if such things are the result of oblivion or spite.

  20. cackleofradness Says:

    I can safely say I have no idea what you are talking about. And I am glad for this ignorance.

  21. JackDanielsBlack Says:

    Some folks just have no clue as to what constitutes an effective presentation–perhaps this is a form of autism. This sort of thing can be prevented by the talk or conference organizer, who should preview the slides and give feedback in advance. Post-presentation audience feedback should also be solicited and given to the presenter.

  22. Kaija Says:

    I went to a symposium two years ago that featured a day of research talks by accomplished senior professors from very fine institutions. 5 of 6 speakers turned their backs to the audience and talked to their slides on the screen. At least 2 presentations featured “wall of small text” slides. I try to coach my students in the art of designing and delivering good presentations and this is what they see “in the field”…yeesh.

  23. tideliar Says:

    I’m an ex-rig jockey and was well taught by a pro rig-jockey how NOT to resent fucking useless overburdened squilly shitte as a professiaonl talk. break your shitte down and explain your fuckken shitte because no other motherfuckere in the roome understands a word you’re saying.

    Electrophysiologists, especially those in vivo and cortical bullshit motherfuckers are the fucking worst for the multi-panel fuckkeass slides

  24. tideliar Says:

    resent = present

    fucking proofe my asse

  25. ginger Says:

    “Motherfuckere.” That’s French, right, like the Royale with Cheese?

  26. pinus Says:

    As a rig jockey who know has a lab, I always make sure I don’t fall in to this trap..I see it happen so very often.

  27. K Says:

    You think that’s bad, though; I have a relative at NIH who works in an area related to grants and she’s told me horror stories of grants typed in one-point font.

  28. DrugMonkey Says:

    As long as it is one-point *Georgia* font it is totes readable,¿¿¡¡¿¿!amirite!????!!

  29. DrugMonkey Says:

    Oh, and I bet this person’s grant applications are a wonder to behold

    “refer to experiment A1biii above and experiment G3dii below for the…”

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