Unclear On The Fucking Concept

February 24, 2008

Many bloggers believe that encouraging young people to blog is a total fucking mitzvah. PhysioProf has used this very platform to bring attention to the blog of a group of progressive high-schoolers. Even elementary and secondary school teachers have begun to incorporate blogging into their curricula, and that kicks ass.

However, this thread over at Coturnix demonstrates that there are at least some teachers who are totally fucking clueless about what blogging is all about, and why it is so great to get students blogging. You can check it out, or just let me recap the wacky bullshit for you below the fold.

Coturnix found out that an elementary school teacher has created a blogging mentorship program, where established blogger volunteers each mentor one of his students by keeping an eye on the student’s blog and commenting there from time to time. PhysioProf commented on Coturnix’s post, quipping hilariously:

I’m signing up! I’ll teach these little fuckers how to blog properly.

Tell me that shit ain’t funny! Well, blogging teacher dude failed to get the joke, which is that PhysioProf would obviously never try to teach a bunch of little fucking kids to blog PhysioProf style. Coturnix clearly got the joke, riffing back:

Noooooooooooooooooooooo!

Unfortunately, instead of chalking it up to a difference in taste for humor, blogging teacher dude got a serious fucking bug up his ass, and also demonstrated some serious fucking ignorance of how blogging works:

The project has shown signs of good success with the exception of the above comment by PhysioProf. I would appreciate it if this ‘blogger’ was blocked from your site (he/she has been from ours) and the above comments removed.

After Coturnix explained that PhysioProf was just kidding, blogging teacher dude got even nuttier:

Coturnix your first comment ‘Noooooooooooooooooooooo!’ is contradicted with your second where you condone PhysioProf’s previous comments. I agree with freedom of speech but tire of language used just for shock value. I also strongly support the United Nations Constitution for the Rights of the Child. I do not mean to ‘bite’ in response to these comments. I do intend to follow up any inaction from you Coturnix.

Anyone – students, parents, anyone could find your site through a Google or similar search using ‘minilegends’. Fair enough, the approach might not be to block vistors to your site. But you might like to strongly consider removing any links to ours IE this whole post and references to it.

Hey, blogging teacher dude! Here is a free lesson on how the fuck this shit works:

When you post shit on a motherfucking blog, other people can link to it, post about it, and allow comments about it on their own blogs. They can even say that what you have posted is complete motherfucking batshit loonie moronic douchehoundy dickbaggery.

When this happens, there is nothing you can or should do about it other than one of three things: (1) keep your fucking mouth shut; (2) comment on the other blogger’s blog, and make it clear that you think what she posted is complete motherfucking batshit loonie moronic douchehoundy dickbaggery (maybe she’ll let your comment appear); (3) publish a post on your blog making it clear that you think what she posted is complete motherfucking batshit loonie moronic douchehoundy dickbaggery.

You don’t try to strongarm other bloggers (“I do intend to follow up any inaction from you Coturnix.” Hey, blogging teacher dude: lay off the fucking Sopranos DVDs.) into (1) banning commenters from their own blogs, (2) censoring comments on their own blogs to suit your whims, and/or (3) removing links and blog posts from their own blogs that reference your blog.

This is certainly not the kind of authoritarian control-freak blogging douchebloggery to be teaching children. (Well, maybe it is if the goal is to generate obedient, frightened, ignorant consumerist drones to serve the corporatocracy.)

The reason that blogging is such a totally fucking awesome activity for schoolchildren is that, when taught properly, it forces them to create ideas of their own and confront the sometimes-disturbing ideas of others, not just regurgitate the stupid goddamn motherfucking puerile gack they are fed by authority figures. Good teachers make their students uncomfortable. Bad teachers churn out obedient slaves of convention.

(Note: PhysioProf unleased some other totally side-splittingly fucking hilarious bons mots in the comments on Coturnix’s post, so go check it out if you need a good laugh.)

18 Responses to “Unclear On The Fucking Concept”


  1. Just like the fact that, as Dr. Robert Altemeyer points out, we are never taught that we should defy authority if that authority is bad or wrong. We as a society are so eager to reward obedience, when what we really need is some good old-fashioned disobedience.

    In fact, if nobody stands up to these tyrants and says, “Fuck off – you’re not the boss of me”, we’re sunk! Look at what a hard time Dems are having standing up to this wretched tyrant who has fucked us over every way from Sunday and we just sit there and take it! We need a little more disrespect for authority, or we will end up serfs – wwe’re already well on the way.


  2. Supporting YOUTHinkLeft is indeed a mitzvah – don’t know how I missed that but thanks for reminding us.

    Re the Coturnix post: What surprises me is that the guy isn’t an uptight totalitarian American teacher – he’s Australian. Aren’t the Aussies supposed to be more good-natured? I’ve got news for the teacher – even 8 or 9 year olds will be blogging with the same language as PhysioProf – if not now, then very soon. What’s he going to do? Ban them from their own blogs?

  3. kevin z Says:

    Actually Abel, you’d be surprised at how fucking conservative aussies can be. Don’t let crocodile dundee fool you. Look at Mel. They have religious nut jobs breathing down everyones neck there just as much as we do here.


  4. Too bad. The teacher could have used the opportunity to teach his students to get past the appearance of words and see the message; about free speech; to deal with potentially uncomfortable situations; well, teach a bunch of things. He obviously believes he can shelter these kids from language for the rest of their lives.

    So I think you could just refer him to Carlin, who said it best (And apologies for this really long bit, but I couldn’t find a good link with this, so here goes, in its entirety):
    —Perhaps one of the most interesting words in the English language today, is the word FUCK. Out of all of the English words which begin with the letter F, FUCK is the only word referred to as the “F” word, it’s the one magical word. FUCK as most words in the English language, is derived from German, the word “fricken[?]”, which means to strike.
    In English, FUCK falls into many grammatical categories.
    As a transitive verb, for instance. John FUCK-ed Shirley.
    As an intransitive verb, Shirley FUCKS.
    It’s meaning’s not always sexual; it can be used as an adjective, such as John’s doing all the FUCK-ing work.
    As part of an adverb, Shirley talks too FUCK-ing much.
    As an adverb enhancing an adjective, Shirley is FUCK-ing beautiful.
    As a noun, I don’t give a FUCK. As part of a word abso-FUCKING-lutely, or in-FUCKING-credible.
    And, as almost every word in the sentence, FUCK the FUCK-ing FUCK-ers.
    As you must realize, there aren’t too many words with the versatility of FUCK. As in these examples describing situations such as fraud,
    I got FUCK-ed at the used car lot.
    Dismay, Aw FUCK it.
    Trouble, I guess I’m really FUCK-ed now.
    Agression, Don’t FUCK with me buddy.
    Difficulty, I don’t understand this FUCK-ing question.
    Inquiry, Who the FUCK was that?
    Dissatisfaction, I don’t like what the FUCK is going on here.
    Incompetence, He’s a FUCK-off.
    Dismissal, Why don’t you go outside and play hide-and-go-FUCK yourself?
    I’m sure you can think of many more examples. With all these multi purpose applications,
    how can anyone be offended when you use the word? We say, use this unique, flexible word more often in your daily speech. It will identify the quality of your character immediately. Say it loudly, and proudly! FUCK you!—-

    Every now and then I tend to forget just how good Carlin is.


  5. I can think of another F-word: formaldehyde. Not as flexible, though.

    Fuck and other such words can be used very creatively by bloggers like PhysioProf, or Rude Pundit or Amanda Marcotte, for great effect. They are an essential part of the blogging style BECAUSE they challenge the powerful, the ones who cannot and will not use them: the opressive government, the corporate media, the uppity journalists, the school-teachers and your Mom. The message is: you can fuck me but you cannot stop me from saying what I want. If you don’t like it – go fuck yourself. And if you try to fuck with me, you’re fucked. Watch how CNN got fucked when they fired Chez.


  6. There is no way to say stuff more clearly than, for instance this.

  7. kevin z Says:

    FUCK = Fornification Under Consent of the King

    Clearly a much a needed vocabulary word, a worthy adjective and a mighty noun.

    Hey Bora, Formaldehyde You, formaldehyding formaldehyder!

  8. PhysioProf Says:

    “your Mom”

    Who the fuck do you think I learned the fucking English language from.

    “FUCK = Fornification Under Consent of the King”

    I’m not sure if you’re just kidding around, but there is absolutely no question that this is not a plausible etymology for “fuck”. It is just a folk etymology fabricated centuries after the true origin of the word.

  9. Al Upton Says:

    yes .. a heavy handed approach clearly would have little impact here. An appeal that you no longer link to my blog might. Teaching my students how to blog in a ‘safe and savvy’ manner in an open environment is high on our agenda. We have had different situations arise that give us opportunities to respond when something inappropriate or uncomfortable comes along. Unfortunately (whether we like it or not) links to our blog from posts such as this one is enough to close our blog or, at least, turn it into a password protected walled garden. Is this the message you want passed onto our kids? Nothing in the above post and comments is new to me. Just as my ‘heavy handed’ approach toward an adult to ban a visitor to his blog, to censor and delete a post and its comments … just as my response was inappropriate,
    so too are posts and comments such as this whose links threaten the rights of our youth to experience blogging and open global conversations when they are older. Is removing the links and leaving each other alone so much to ask?

  10. PhysioProf Says:

    [J]ust as my response was inappropriate,
    so too are posts and comments such as this whose links threaten the rights of our youth to experience blogging and open global conversations when they are older. Is removing the links and leaving each other alone so much to ask?

    Dude, what the fuck are you talking about? You can’t control who links to you on the Web. What are you gonna do when your blog starts getting porn link trackback spam?

    It sounds like you think that when a site links to yours it is somehow involuntarily forcing something onto your site. Do you not understand that the reason outside links to your site are appearing somewhere on your site is because you have instructed your site to collect and display them?

  11. Al Upton Says:

    Dont treat me like a fool please. I understand how the linking system works. So do you. You would also understand that by linking to our site with what is called offensive language by our school and broader community, you expose the students (and consequently the broader community) to that language – hence the students can’t access the dashboard of our blog. I am not seeking to control anyone. All I did was ask that you don’t deny access to the kids controlling their own class blog – by linking inappropriately. You have done this. You understand how the linking system works, so was this intentional on your part? I’d like to think not. That would be a completely selfish act denying our youth their right to control their self expression. I prefer to give someone the benefit of the doubt. Why not work together on this one? Do you know how to delete an existing incoming link so the kids can take control of their blog again? You have seen how hard they have worked so far and deserve a chance. From today they are denied access to their own blog. Not my choice. I don’t want to ‘instruct my site’ to allow access to a limited few.

  12. PhysioProf Says:

    As far as I can tell, Edublogs is built on the WordPress blog software platform. If you don’t want your students to see any particular link to your blog, all you have to do is open your Dashboard, go to the Comments section, scroll down and find whatever “Pingback” comment(s)–which are how links from other sites appear on your own blog–you don’t like, and delete them.

    It’s your blog; you control everything that appears there, and only you are responsible for what appears there. If you fail to accept this, and continue trying to externalize responsibility for the content on your blog to the rest of the Internet, you are setting yourself up for ongoing disappointment.

    What are you going to do when porno sites hosted in Russia start linking to your site with pingback spam? You think they are going to give a flying fuck about your “linking inappropriately” gibberish?

  13. Al Upton Says:

    Thanks PP. You write convincingly why we ought to nurture kids (as they begin or continue to discover an uncertain, changing online world) as early as possible … in a safe and savvy way. So they can take control and responsibility for their own choices. FYI “Linking inappropriately” was caught and deleted. Consequently they did not appear (and I couldn’t find them before) in the comments/pingback section – that is not to say I don’t appreciate your help. Nothing like a good double negative. Unfortunately the link in incoming activity was still visible and forced me to ban students from opening up the dashboard. This has been remedied now because I sought the assistance of someone who has greater control of my site. I don’t control everything in my blog.

    What am I going to do when others abuse the rights of my students? Well I’ll try in my own way to protect them and retain their freedom – even if this involves clumsy ‘gibberish’. Failing that I suppose I’ll brick them back in, shut the outside world out. Meaningful learning doesn’t only happen at school but what wasted opportunities when it can’t. Cheers, Al

  14. PhysioProf Says:

    What am I going to do when others abuse the rights of my students? Well I’ll try in my own way to protect them and retain their freedom – even if this involves clumsy ‘gibberish’. Failing that I suppose I’ll brick them back in, shut the outside world out.

    Dude, your thinking about the practical and ethical status of incoming links to your blog is totally delusional.

  15. Myrtle June Says:

    PhysioProf! I’ve been busy and I’m come over here and find the funniest fucking bit of fun I’ve seen awhile!! :-D

  16. Dan J Says:

    Absolutely priceless!! The number of people who really don’t “get it” astounds me. This dude is teaching the youth of our nation. *facepalm*

    Thanks for pointing this one out to me, PhysioProffe!


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