What Driftglass Said

Dubya was 40 million Pig People tired of the hard, fussy job of being a tolerant, powerful democracy finally once-and-for-all blowing America’s family inheritance on an eight-year, blood-drunk bender.

Dubya was the United States crawling through dumpsters at our national soul’s midnight, killing anything that moves, licking out the contents of random baggies, hoping the little white flakes clinging to the plastic is crank and not rat poison, and waking up the next day — that horrible, horrible sun-also-rises morning after — broke and twitchy, arguing over what more they can sell off to keep the party going and who they can blame for their gone-to-shit lives.

Read the whole motherfucking thing. Now.

Things That Make Comrade PhysioProf Go “Hmm”

From Bloomberg today:

Warren Buffett said he’s buying U.S. stocks and, if prices stay attractive, his personal investments, as distinct from his stake in Berkshire Hathaway Inc., will soon be wholly in American equities.

* * *

Buffett, ranked the richest American by Forbes magazine, has committed at least $28 billion this year to acquire companies, finance buyouts and purchase securities for Berkshire as the contraction in global credit markets drove down stock prices and sent firms searching for funds.

The dude who probably is long on more motherfucking American stock than anyone on the entire motherfucking planet is telling everyone else to buy.

Let’s Help Some Motherfucking Kids

Comrade DoucheMonkey and Comrade PhysioProf are engaged in a battle with our fellow ScienceBloggers over bragging rights for the most generous readers in the ScienceBlogs DonorsChoose contest. For those who don’t know what the fuck I’m talking about, the ScienceBlogs DonorsChoose contest is a mechanism for getting money donated to various school classrooms across the United States to allow teachers to implement their visions for science teaching to children.

As with prior years, Seed will be giving out prizes to Readers who donate!

The overlordz have communicated the following:

We’ll be giving away 50 Seed mag subscriptions and about 15 or so other prizes from an assortment of mugs, laptop covers and USB drives. Each Friday we’ll choose winners for a third of the prizes. In addition, there will be one ‘grand prize’ at the end of the drive, of an iPod Touch.
For your readers to enter the drawing, all they need to do is forward their donation confirmation emails to scienceblogs@gmail.com.

Also, Comrade DoucheMonkey will be issuing prizes from the DrugMonkey store on cafepress. All the kewl kids want DM schwag you know.

In other news, DonorsChoose.org won second place in the AmEx Members Project competition– another $500K for the kids, w00t!!!

And please go and vote on Sinister Genius’s next tattoo (or lack thereof).

Not This Fucking Shit Again

Abel Phuckwit and PalMD are leading a panel discussion on “on the needs and justification for anonymity or pseudonymity in blogging” at the upcoming ScienceOnline’09 conference (16-18 Jan 2009 in RTP, NC, USA). While I understand that there could be interest in this topic, I think that in large part it is superfluous, and the very existence of such a panel is tantamount to “blaming the victim”.

Whether anyone “needs to”, or can “justify”, blogging pseudonymously is besides the point. Whose fucking business is it whether someone else chooses to blog pseudonymously? Anyone who doesn’t like it can choose not to read pseudonymous blogs.

I think all this pseudonymity/anonymity handwringing is driven by the florid neuroses of a handful of non-pseudonymous bloggers who are outraged by the fact that their real-world credentials gain them no credibility at all in the blogosphere, while numerous pseudonymous/anonymous bloggers have developed–through the demonstrable value of their actual motherfucking content–tremendous respect and credibility. It pisses these weebly doucheknockers off that people laugh derisively at their inane gibberish and fancy-ass degrees, while taking very seriously the well-developed and well-written content of numerous pseuds, all of whom could very well be labrador retrievers with Windows passwords.

The Day I Became An Atheist

Motherfucking arrogant, presumptuous, ill-mannered, and rude bastard Barefoot Bum has tagged me with a goddamn meme. While I despise this meme-tagging cockamamie crapola, Bum is a decent dude, so I’ll oblige.

Can You Remember The Day That You Officially Became An Atheist?

Actually, I can. I was with my parents at our house of worship as a child–if I recall correctly about 7 years old–and was following along with the praying and shit, and I said to myself, “I’m gonna try to believe this shit that I’m reading about God wants this and God did that”, but I just couldn’t do it. All I could think was, “This is totally fucking ridiculous”. From that moment forward I have been as certain as I have ever been of anything that there ain’t no fucking gods. Period.

Do you remember the day you officially became an agnostic?

I was never an agnostic. Before the event I described above, I simply didn’t give a flying fuck about any god shit, one way or another.

How about the last time you spoke or prayed to God with actual thought that someone was listening?

Never happened.

Did anger towards God or religion help cause you to be an atheist or agnostic?

No. I became an atheist because I became convinced as surely as I am convinced of anything that their ain’t no fucking gods.

Here is a good one: Were you agnostic towards ghosts, even after you became an atheist?

Ghosts!? You fucking kidding me!?

Do you want to be wrong?

Huh?

Guess what, motherfuckers? You are motherfucking tagged!!!!!!!

RESEARCHERS, Professor in Training, Blue Lab Coats, Dr Jekyll & Mrs Hyde, Chemical BiLOLogy.

Fuck Motherfucking Hitchens

Jesus fucking christ it’s making me motherfucking sick to see Hitchens’s dick being sucked left and right by supposed left-wing bloggers just because he has decided that McCain and Palin are deranged incompetent scuzbuckets.

Hitchens was wrong, wrong, wrongity fucking wrong on the Iraq war, and was one of its loudest and most articulate drumbeaters. He’s also no motherfucking friend to women. I think it’s fucking stupid and counterproductive to give cookies to dumbfuck blind squirrels like Hitchens just because they happen to stumble on an acorn now and then.

Instead of lauding an obnoxious warmongering misogynist asshole like Hitchens for not being totally delusional, how about all the people who have recognized McCain and Palin for the deranged right-wing shitbags they are from the get-go, but who also demonstrate a tendency to get other important shit correct?

I don’t get this phenomenon where some on the left pop woodies and wet their panties every time some prominent right-wing scuzbucket “sees the light”. These motherfuckers are fleeing the GOP and other “conservative” movements like rats a sinking ship. They do not deserve any praise whatsoever for this self-serving pathetic behavior that merely demonstrates once and for all that they are unprincipled opportunists and always have been; rather, they deserve our disdain and, maybe, pity.

Just because you happen to agree with Hitchens on his stance toward godbotherer religious fuckwits–and now on McCain/Palin–doesn’t make him your friend or ally.

Recipe War Week #{Lost Fucking Count}: First Meat Course

OK. My dear competitor Dr. Isis the Scientist is soundly beating the living shit out of Comrade PhysioProf in the Recipe War. But Comrade PhysioProf never gives up, and never stops fighting to the bitter end. And hey, Comrade PhysioProf and Comrade PhysioWife have been enjoying the motherfucking fuck out of all the great dishes Comrade PhysioProf has been devising! This week’s recipe is Lamb Shoulder Braised in Guinness and Cranberry Sauce, served with couscous.

Comrade PhysioProf Is Ecstatic To Be Completely Fucking Wrong

Comrade PhysioProf was completely wrong about this. And Comrade PhysioProf is totally fucking ecstatic about it.

The Republican Party: Refuge For The Indecent

Looking at those deranged far-right-wing wackaloon fuckups cheering on Palin and her depraved drivel scares the fucking shit out of me. These shitbag right-wing GOP smugfucks are a motherfucking cancer on our polity.

The only people left in the Republican Party are depraved racist misogynist theocratic wackaloon scuzbuckets, irretrievably poisoned delusional fuckwit victims of decades of sick-fuck right-wing propaganda, and a smattering of greedfuck plutocrats. (Although the latter are beginning to flee to the Democratic Party in droves, seeing newer softer flesh to sink their vicious fangs into.)

Shorter David “Lying Right-Wing Asshole” Brooks

Shorter David “Lying Right-Wing Asshole” Brooks:

“If Democrats weren’t such pointy-headed coastal-elite pantywaists, the Republican Party would never have become the refuge of deranged racist misogynist theocratic gibberers.”